FEATURED REVIEW.............................................................08 AUG 2005
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Artist:
NICKEL CREEK |
A recent Rolling Stone article begins: "When Nickel Creek mandolinist/vocalist Chris Thile entered the studio to record the band's third album, Why Should the Fire Die?, due August 9th, he did as he always does: took a shot of Jameson's and lit a candle." A shot of Jameson's and a candle? Are you f*cking kidding me? How many ways can you spell P-O-S-E-R?
Nevertheless, being the magnanimous, dispassionate critics that we are, we banished the antics of Pretty-Boy Thile from our minds, and sat down to give the album an honest listen. After all, the same RS article calls the new record "an incisive collection of traditional bluegrass and alt-country rock."
Alas, such praise
is only further evidence that the sun has set on the RS empire.
The only thing "incisive" about Nickel Creek's latest collection
is the smugness: Mr. Thile thinks he's devilishly clever, and it shows.
It's not that Thile lacks cleverness, exactly. While he may not be Rhett
Miller, Eef Barzelay or Colin Meloy, he can turn the occasional phrase.
It's just that when he does, he pauses pregnantly, as if to say: "Hey--did
you just catch that? I just sang 'Oh me of little faith' instead
of 'Oh ye of little faith.'" (It is the musical equvalent
of that look George W. Bush gets each time he squeezes out a word like
"judiciary.")
The album starts promisingly enough--"When in Rome" is a catchy
tune. By the second track, however, the wheels have come off. "Somebody
More Like You"--despite the nu-grass arrangement--is nothing more
than a boy band single waiting to happen: "You said you'd love
me, always, truly / I must have changed." Has Justin Timberlake
joined the band? Before you have a chance to mutter, "What the hell?"
a backing chorus kicks in with a few AH-AH-AHs and the drivel continues:
"I hope you find someone / someone that you trust / and give
him everything." Lordy.
Much of the album sounds derivative, as though Nickel Creek--in a mere 14 songs--is trying to ape everyone who caught their fancy in the past year. "Jealous of the Moon" could be a cheezy Jayhawks outtake. (No surprise here--the track is co-written by Gary Louris. What we'd like to know, though, is this: who is the closet Shania fan? When you start mining Ms. Twain's lyrics for inspiration, well, the end is nigh.)
On "Can't Complain," meanwhile, Thile and the kids are wearing their Clem Snide shoes. They don't exactly fit.
"Best of Luck" is an over-the-top musical drama that might have come from the cast recording of Dave Matthews Band: The Musical, if such a monstrosity actually existed.
In the aforementioned Rolling Stone article, Thile singles out "Helena" for special praise, drawing attention to "that second when the drums begin to swell" and calling it the record's "ultimate climax." Uh, no. The point where the drums begin to swell isn't the album's "ultimate climax," it's just the sound of you having a Coldplay fantasy. Go take a shower.
The album's only actual cover song is a blasé version of the relatively obscure Dylan tune "Tomorrow is a Long Time." Fiddler Sara Watkins takes lead vocals on this one. She sounds fragile. It is "pretty," if you're into sterile ear-candy. We'll stick with Dylan's version.
Watkins also takes the lead on "Anthony"--one of the album's all-too-few highlights.
"Anthony,
Anthony
Oh, he said, he can't love me,
But I think he can, yes I think he can,
And I told him so, just before he ran."
Unfortunately, however, the track clocks in at a mere 1:53, and it's back to the schlock and drama.
In summation: On "Doubting Thomas," Thile sings, "Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face." Well here it is, buster. Your new album is execrable. Three cheezeballs. (And we're tempted to give you another for the album title alone.)
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A NOTE ON THE RATING SYSTEM:
5 CHEEZEBALLS = UNLISTENABLE SCHLOCK
3 CHEEZEBALLS = A DIFFICULT SLOG
1 CHEEZEBALL = THE ODD FORGIVABLE MISSTEP
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