AN OPEN LETTER TO COLUMBIA RECORDS..................21 NOV 2005

Artist: BOB DYLAN
Album: THE BEST OF BOB DYLAN
Label: COLUMBIA
Release Date: 15 NOVEMBER 2005

Dear Columbia Records,

November 15th saw the release of yet another Bob Dylan compilation, The Best of Bob Dylan. (And this is in addition to four other currently available “greatest hits” packages: Bob Dylan’s Greatest Hits, Bob Dylan’s Greatest Hits, Vol. 2, Bob Dylan’s Greatest Hits, Vol. 3, and The Essential Bob Dylan.) Sure, Dylan wrote some mighty compelling stuff, but does he need five “greatest hits” packages?

If you are going to keep milking Dylan’s back catalog for all it is worth, why don’t you repackage some of his crappy stuff, and try peddling that? After more than four decades in the music business, Dylan has amassed an impressive collection of poorly produced stinkers and other unpalatable schlock.

We’ve taken the liberty of drafting two possible “worst of” compilations for your review and consideration. Please find our suggestions attached below.

Hope to hear from you soon,
Cheezeball.net


Dylan in the 70s:
The Worst of the Worst, Volume 1

1. All the Tired Horses (Self Portrait – 1970)
2. I Forgot More than You’ll Ever Know (Self Portrait – 1970)
3. Blue Moon (Self Portrait – 1970)
4. Wigwam (Self Portrait – 1970)
5. If Dogs Run Free (New Morning – 1970)
6. Three Angels (New Morning – 1970)
7. Big Yellow Taxi (Dylan – 1973)
8. Spanish Is the Loving Tongue (Dylan – 1973)
9. Baby, Stop Crying (Street Legal – 1978)
10. Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right (At Budokan – 1979)
11. When You Gonna Wake Up (Slow Train Coming – 1979)
12. Man Gave Names to All the Animals (Slow Train Coming – 1979)

Dylan in the 80s:
The Worst of the Worst, Volume 2

1. A Satisfied Mind (Saved – 1980)
2. Saved (Saved – 1980)
3. Solid Rock (Saved – 1980)
4. Are You Ready? (Saved – 1980)
5. Shot of Love (Shot of Love – 1981)
6. Watered Down Love (Shot of Love – 1981)
7. Man of Peace (Infidels – 1983)
8. Tight Connection to My Heart (Empire Burlesque – 1985)
9. When the Night Comes Falling from the Sky (Empire Burlesque – 1985)
10. They Killed Him (Knocked Out Loaded – 1986)
11. Driftin’ Too Far from the Shore (Knocked Out Loaded – 1986)
12. When Did You Leave Heaven? (Down in the Groove – 1988)

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POSTSCRIPT.............................................................................22 NOV 2005

Goodness gracious, it seems our open letter to Columbia Records has touched a nerve. Special thanks to those of you wrote in to defend your favorite Dylan clunkers. For more insight into the rationale behind our "worst of" selections, please check out The Cheezeball Manifesto. (Often times we're objecting to the production of a particular track, and not necessarily to the song itself. And keep that feedback coming--we love hearing from you.)

To the handful of humorless Bob-o-philes who seem to think that the Sacred Cow is incapable of producing a pile of poo: clearly we are Dylan fans. (Why else would we own both Dylan and At Budokan?) We've posted a few choice excerpts below. With the exception of a few inserted asterisks, the selections are unedited.

"The worst of Bob is 'A Satisifed Mind'? 'Shot Of Love'? Alot of your choices I can agree with, but choices such as that are so far off the mark it makes me wonder if you didn't select some of those songs drunk."

"Worst of Dylan Still 10,000 times better than anything You'll ever create in your life."
"Is that the best (or should I say the worst) you can do?"
"Lame, oh so lame...but you not the music"
"I think man gave names to all the animals is a wonderful, even great song, could be a childrens classic if someone wanted it to be. Lighten up."
"I'd say 90% wrong on the Dylan cuts being sucko. Sounds like just another music hating tweener to me. You could be volunteering your time at a local hospital or old folks home..."
"Communist!"
"you are an obvious poseur and complete assh*le. i hope this site is good for your ego because god knows you can't have much else going for you. you are some type of c*ntbearing c*ckholster which cannot be described in polite language. tell your opinions to the ants...they have about as much brain matter as you do."

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