THE FDA ADMITTED THE
LIMITED NATURE OF THE E. COLI
OUTBREAK WAS PUZZLING, BUT
REFUSED TO SPECULATE.

 

AH, YES, LOVE LIES.
BUT JANIE'S BALL-BUSTING
FIST OF STEEL SAW HER
THROUGH ALL THREE
DIVORCES.

 

IT WAS ALL FUN AND
GAMES UNTIL MARY'S
HYSTERECTOMY.

 

ROUNDUP® READY-TO-USE
PUMP 'N GO™ SPRAYER.

THE FAST AND EASY WAY TO
KILL WITCHGRASS, NUTSEDGE,
AND YOUR GARDEN VARIETY
UGLY HEAD.

 

FIVE HEALTHY CHRISTER
SQUIRRELS IN THEIR COLORFUL WOODLAND GARB.

 

PAT LOVED HER NEW DEMIN PANTSUIT, BUT SHE TOOK
COMFORT IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT, WERE SHE TO WEAR OUT
THE KNEES, JESUS WOULD
BUY HER A NEW ONE.

 

THIS IS YOUR
BRAIN ON...

HAIRSPRAY?

 

BLAME XAVIER CUGAT.

 

SUMO-FERRET-SKULL-
SH*TTER AIRWAYS WENT
BANKRUPT? WHAT THE
HELL DO I DO WITH ALL
MY MILES NOW?

 

CAREER? WHAT CAREER?
IF TOM SELLECK WANTS TO
DANCE THE CSÁRDÁS, TOM
SELLECK WILL DANCE THE
F*CKING CSÁRDÁS.